"Breaking the Saree Stereotypes: My Journey of Rediscovering the Saree"

For some strange reason, I thought that sarees were so special that they were worn only on special occasions. I believed that the only women who wear sarees regularly are either teachers, politicians, social workers, or those married into Rajwaadas (estate families). It was strange of me to think this way, as I saw my mother (and most women of her generation) wear sarees every day, even to bed. It was probably an influence of the post-liberalization lifestyle that made the Indian urban middle class equate westernization with modernization. It was widely believed that modernity couldn’t be rooted in culture. Therefore, cultural clothing is only for cultural occasions like ceremonies and festivals. People who wear cultural clothing every day are either old-fashioned or live in conservative environments. Now that I know better, I realize that this was an abject fallacy.

At the age of 23, a year into my first job, I constantly struggled with the so-called ‘western’ formal wear as a man. However, at an official event, it was announced that we were required to look prim and proper. I was worried not about my personal dressing but that my female colleagues, being women, would be able to carry a skirt or pant suit. The saree seemed like a possible solution to this problem; it was accepted as formal wear and seemed more attractive to me as an outfit. That’s when I told her and bought my first handloom saree to gift it to my sister for her to wear on any formal occasion. It was a mercerized cotton Ikat saree from the Dharwad region of Karnataka, commonly known as Ikkal or Irakkal.

Thankfully, the idea worked! I found out that my sister carried the saree more confidently than I could have managed the western formals, which were part of my Friday dressing, and received many compliments. I decided that for all such occasions, I will buy my sister a saree and ask her to create her own trousseau of sarees that will be her "go-to outfit" for formal occasions. However, such occasions were quite rare. Moreover, at that time, I felt tremendous pressure to ‘look young for my age’ with a saree, and a saree was (and still is) popularly believed to make one look older. This stopped me from asking her to make it a part of her daily wardrobe. Now, I realize that this too was a baseless and ageist fallacy. The saree is for people of all ages. More importantly, there’s no such thing as ‘looking one’s age’ and even if there was, looking older is no sin.

I got married at the age of 28, and my wife did wear sarees for a few days after my wedding. But this saree stint was also short-lived, as I moved here and there soon after. Another unfounded thought: one can’t or shouldn’t wear one’s cultural clothing in an erratic life style or a hectic life in one's own or foreign land, as many Muslim countries with restrictions and strictures stopped me from thinking that wearing sarees in Dubai or Middle Eastern countries was not that easy. Of course, this too was an unfortunate bias.

I began asking my wife to wear sarees more frequently and also experimented with them. Some of the experiments looked great in pictures and got appreciation from my near and dear ones as I started acquaintance with the saree lover's diaspora on Instagram, but they weren’t just really comfortable but had an immense strength and sense of pride and recognition that no other garment or garments could possibly give. They felt weirdly wild and empowered in reality, and I felt the immense sense of power in this garment. On the other hand, some ladies had incorporated experiments into their drapes, which worked quite well and felt more natural.

All the experiments did succeed in one thing, showing me the endless possibilities sarees have. They don’t always have to be worn with blouses or petticoats; they don’t always need ‘falls’ to stay in place; they don’t have to be draped only in a certain way; and so on. I realized that a saree can be worn by anyone for almost all activities and occasions. All one needs to do is find one’s innate saree style.